IN PATANJALI'S YOGA SUTRA, ahimsa is considered the first of the five yamas, which are basically a yogi's ethical and moral guidelines towards society. Ahimsa directly translates as "nonviolence"-the root word, himsa, means "violence" or "hurt" while the prefix a- means "not" or "no."
In yoga, we believe killing another living being for any reason, including one's own sustenance, is a violation of ahimsa. But violence comes in many forms. In some forms, you instantly comprehend it and know exactly what it is. The violence is visceral. And then others just creep up on you. Your subconscious might hurt, but you don't fully recognize that you are hurting or being hurt until much later.
Recently a very dear friend shared her story with me, which created such an aha! moment for me. All these years, I had thought of ahimsa as a practice where you avoided hurting others with your words and actions. But I didn't realize how limited my understanding was in some ways. I never factored in lack of self-love as violence, himsa, towards self. Her confession made it clear that when we don't love ourselves completely, we can't practice ahimsa with others fully. I also came to understand that deep-rooted resentment for another being-whether you verbalize it or not-is also himsa.
My friend is stuck in a relationship where there is no clarity or self-love. She is married to a man who turned out to be both impotent and disinterested in sex. This is not a problem in and of itself, but it contributes to their difficult situation. It was an arranged marriage.
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