GIFT HORSES AND FRENCH LESSONS

Robert Cooper finds 'retirement' is keeping him busy

- Robert Cooper

The old adage about looking a gift horse in the mouth springs to mind. My interpretation is that if a juicy proposition comes your way, you shouldn't grumble whatever the outcome.

A few weeks back 'Lady Bob' and I received a decidedly generous offer of spending a week on a remote island in the Outer Hebrides - it would have been insane to refuse, and shun the prospect of placing all the troubles of the world on the back burner, if only for a few days; also Shergar Cup weekend is as good a time as any to skip the rat race, so we headed north.

South Uist is inaccessible as it gets, even if the ferries were operating and they weren't. After four days on the road and at sea, we arrived on this barren and beautiful windswept island.

I don't often raise or swing a golf club in anger or pleasure; nevertheless I rammed my set of hickory sticks in the back of the car just in case. It was a wise move as I'm told Askernish Golf Club is one of those bucket list 'must play' courses before one kicks the aforementioned. Designed by the fabled 'Old' Tom Morris in 1891, some years after his four Open Championship victories, the old boy must have had a lively sense of humour. Whacking your ball into a 60mph cyclone would present a stern challenge to Rory McIlroy, let alone a recently retired hacker from Chipping Norton. Stray from the fairways and your ball is doomed amongst the impenetrable rough several of mine may lie undetected until my next visit.

Refreshed and re-energized by the break 16 hours on the road, seven more on re-routed ferries, eight lost golf balls plus, three penalty motoring points I am now ready for some autumn action on the racecourse.