IS IT TIME TO LET YOUR WOUNDS HEAL?

These days, talking about trauma is more socially acceptable than it used to be. But is that encouraging us to overidentify with our emotional wounds instead of healing and moving on?

- CHARIS TORRANCE

We’re living in the golden age of mental health. Since the pandemic, we’ve become more open and accepting of people’s trauma. Workplaces are creating safe spaces for their employees that put an emphasis on mental wellness – from offering mental health days for when you become overwhelmed to hybrid work methods that are flexible to your needs. Instagram and social media communities teach us how to communicate our boundaries with others, and TikTok therapists show us the importance of talking about our pain.

We should be thriving. But what if we’ve gone too far? Have we started overidentifying with our trauma?

What is woundology?

Woundology might sound like a TikTok hashtag, but it’s actually a term that’s been doing the rounds for a while. In 1988, wellness author Caroline Myss coined it to describe the tendency of people to identify strongly with their emotional wounds, and to use them as a primary source of identity and validation. Woundology suggests some people become so entwined with their traumas that their entire sense of self revolves around them.

In her book Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, she describes how she came upon the concept: ‘One day, in passing, I introduced a friend of mine to two gentlemen I was talking with. Within two minutes, my friend managed to let these men know that she was an incest survivor. Her admission had nothing whatsoever to do with the conversation we’d been having, and in a flash I realised that she was using her wounds as leverage. She had got to the point where she defined herself by a negative experience.’