Unmuting PERIMENOPAUSE
Fairlady|May/June 2023
Menopause is finally getting attention, but perimenopause is still something of a grey area, as it can be hard to tell when it actually starts. Here's what you need to know about 'the least understood phase of the menopause journey'.
MAGDEL LOUW
Unmuting PERIMENOPAUSE

Danya Potgieter and her husband, Shandor, were trying for their second child when she got some shocking news. At just 34, she discovered she was in perimenopause: her chances of falling pregnant had plummeted to a mere 0.001%.

‘I was broken,’ she says. ‘I’d never even heard of perimenopause. I thought menopause was something that happened to older women. Looking back, however, I did have a lot of the symptoms.’

Danya had ascribed her irregular periods to the Mirena, a hormone-releasing intra-uterine device, which she’d had for five years. The Mirena is known for causing light periods or sometimes even stopping menstruation altogether.

She went to her gynaecologist for a check-up because she wasn’t getting pregnant as easily as she had expected, and was told something didn’t look right: her ovaries had shrunk. Blood tests confirmed that her oestrogen levels were low and her follicle-stimulating hormone levels were very high. She was in perimenopause.

‘It was a real shock, especially because two of my close friends got pregnant on the first try at around the same time. I regretted that we’d waited so long to try for a second child. I felt like it was my fault, like my body couldn’t do what it was supposed to do. I struggled with lots of guilt because our son Noah was so eager for a sibling.’

Before her diagnosis, she recalls having had huge mood swings. ‘I had so much rage. But I thought it was just my personality, that I was just a really mean person. I would snap at the smallest thing and simply couldn’t control myself. I would tell myself in my head, “Be better,” and then snap again 2 seconds later.’

She also suffered from anxiety, night sweats, fiery hot flushes during the day, low libido and insomnia.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM FAIRLADYView all
(Late) BLOOMING lovely
Fairlady

(Late) BLOOMING lovely

I've had an epiphany about the joy of getting older. And yes, you can go ahead and yell, it's about time we called midlife what it is: late blooming!

time-read
5 mins  |
March/April 2025
A fairy tale AMONG THE VINES
Fairlady

A fairy tale AMONG THE VINES

What sold me on Riquewihr? Was it the colourful, half-timbered houses? The pictureperfect vineyards? The fact that it's one of the villages that inspired Beauty and the Beast? Yes, yes and (a loud, resounding) yes.

time-read
4 mins  |
March/April 2025
THE SECOND act
Fairlady

THE SECOND act

The idea of starting a new career later in life may seem daunting but it's not impossible. These four women have proven that it's never too late to reinvent yourself.

time-read
7 mins  |
March/April 2025
MENOPAUSE UPDATE 2025
Fairlady

MENOPAUSE UPDATE 2025

Flawed studies, a 'critical HT window', vaginal oestrogen, testosterone supplementation and restricted eating are among a rash of hot topics emerging for women gingerly negotiating menopause. Here's what we know now.

time-read
10+ mins  |
March/April 2025
9 unconventional WAYS TO SHAKE OFF STRESS
Fairlady

9 unconventional WAYS TO SHAKE OFF STRESS

Try these sciencebacked strategies and everyday tips to dial down your body's stress response.

time-read
9 mins  |
March/April 2025
KERI SHOWS HER GOOD SIDE
Fairlady

KERI SHOWS HER GOOD SIDE

Keri Russell's portrayal of Kate Wyler in The Diplomat, her first substantial TV role since the Soviet spy drama The Americans, finds her switching sides, starring as a savvy civil servant tasked with upholding America's reputation abroad.

time-read
5 mins  |
March/April 2025
I have prophetic dreams
Fairlady

I have prophetic dreams

Do you ever wonder what lies beyond the threshold of life, or whether our loved ones who have passed on find ways to communicate with us? I've had vivid dreams and unsettling premonitions that blur the lines between the world we know and the one beyond. I'm not sure whether it's a blessing or a burden.

time-read
6 mins  |
March/April 2025
Pride of INDIA
Fairlady

Pride of INDIA

Drawing inspiration from India's rich heritage, these entrepreneurs are driving innovation in our design industry and supporting under-resourced communities.

time-read
6 mins  |
March/April 2025
THE RISE OF THERAPY SPEAK
Fairlady

THE RISE OF THERAPY SPEAK

Therapy speak - or psychological terminology – is on the rise. While it gives us more language to protect our peace, it can also be a destructive force in our friendships and relationships. Here's why.

time-read
6 mins  |
March/April 2025
Lights, camera, CAPE TOWN
Fairlady

Lights, camera, CAPE TOWN

South Africa is the filming destination for quite a few Marvel blockbusters, and one of the most successful liveaction series based on manga in the world. At the vanguard of this revolution is Marisa Sonemann-Turner, head of production at Film Afrika.

time-read
6 mins  |
March/April 2025