Barbie's bill of rights - 'MUM WAS SO BRAVE'

Daughter Louise reveals the anguish of watching her mother fulfil her dying wish

- Wendyl Nissen

Barbie Duff y was a fit 78-year-old who enjoyed 10-kilometre tramps with her friend every Monday on the many hill trails around the South Island town of Methven.

She was looking forward to visiting her daughter Louise Duff y and her grandchild in the North Island in a few days, to see the property she had recently helped the family shift to, when, out of the blue, on October 6, 2021, she had a major stroke.

It left her unable to speak, read or write. With limited comprehension and movement, she needed help and care around the clock.

Louise was soon at her side and while she took in the news about Barbie’s condition, she knew what her mum wanted.

“I knew she would want care withdrawn so she could be allowed to die if she was ever in this position,” says Louise. “We had talked about it and she had written it down in an advance directive. I thought this was everything needed for the doctors to let her go.”

But that didn’t happen. Barbie’s advance directive wishes were not followed and she was kept alive because the medical profession has a “duty of care” to keep people alive at all costs. Weeks later, when Barbie could understand her situation, she chose not to eat. It took 58 days for her to die.

“She was released from hospital into a care home, where she could have lived like that for years,” tells Louise.