Watching my baby boy Kyle playing with his cousin, I realised something wasn't right.
He was 18 weeks older than my niece, Alex. But they looked worlds apart.
While Alex was bubbly and social, Kyle was withdrawn.
He didn't cope well out of his own bubble and he struggled if his routine was interrupted.
I asked the health visitor, who told me he'd come out of his shell. But I was a nurse, and I knew this wasn't normal.
My husband Scott and I kept pushing, and eventually, just after starting school, Kyle was diagnosed with autism and ADHD when he was five.
We learnt how to deal with his quirks-he was a very happy little boy, as long as he was in his comfort zone.
He loved cuddles, and we'd spend hours snuggling.
But at school, Kyle wouldn't settle. Every morning was traumatic for both of us.
'Don't leave me,' he sobbed as I dropped him at the gates.
It was heartbreaking for Scott and me-especially when we saw how Alex was thriving.
When lockdown hit in March 2020 though, he became even worse.
'What if we get Covid?' he asked Scott and me in fear.
'What if we die?'
There was no reassuring him-he wouldn't eat and wouldn't leave his bedroom at all.
And when schools opened up again, Kyle refused to go back.
He couldn't face it.
The outside world felt scary and unsafe to him.
Scott and I were worried about him, and we contacted the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) for help.
'What's wrong?' I asked Kyle.
He couldn't tell me.
But deep down, I knew-my 10-year-old son was depressed.
We went back and forth to the GP and CAMHS arranged sessions with a psychologist over Zoom.
But it didn't help.
My wee Kyle just wasn't the same little boy anymore.
Everyone we spoke to said Kyle's behaviour was a symptom of his autism-after all, who's heard of a depressed 10-year-old lad?
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