When the second line appeared on the pregnancy test, my eyes filled with tears. Anyone who’s been on the rollercoaster of IVF will understand this very particular brand of elation. After months of drugs and scans, it felt like I’d won the greatest prize on the planet.
Unlike most women at this moment, however, I wasn’t pregnant with my own child. At 52, I was carrying my 28-year-old daughter Heidi’s baby – my longed-for grandchild. Having endured the agonies of watching my daughter struggle through years of infertility, I was going to make her a mum at last.
Some will no doubt baulk at the idea of me carrying my grandchild – my son-inlaw’s biological baby. Or question the risks of a 50-something woman being pregnant. After all, while there is no official upper age limit for surrogates, most clinics do draw the line between 35 and 39. Pregnancy in your 50s brings an increased risk of developing gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, and having a premature birth. Yet I have always loved being pregnant. I was 22 when I had my son, with Heidi following two years later; I conceived quickly and sailed through the trimesters. But for financial reasons we decided to stop at two. After all, we’d been lucky enough to have a boy and a girl, so we felt complete.
Feeling maternal
Heidi was always the happiest little girl. She loved music, Disney and making people smile, and even as a teenager spoke about being a mum herself with absolute certainty. So, I wasn’t surprised when after marrying John, then 26, a fellow real estate worker, when she was 22, they decided to start trying soon after. I knew she’d be an incredible mother. But nothing happened. Month after month, I watched Heidi go from giddy hope to crushing disappointment.
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