It's a beautiful weekday morning. The sun is already shining at 8am and the forecast shows not one cloud in the sky all day. It's unseasonably warm for this time of year and very probably the last fine day of summer, so what a shame it's the first week back at school for my 10-year-old daughter Olivia*.
But then, why should she miss out? All it takes is a simple email from me to the school attendance officer, after all. A headache is the best 'reason' to give, I've discovered, because, unlike a cough or upset tummy, it only lasts a day. A headache means she can go back to school tomorrow with no questions asked. I don't want her to have to lie to adults herself, clearly, though I have no qualms at all about my own lies.
'We can go to Whitstable, we can get fish and chips, and a special ice cream at the new gelateria,' I tell her. 'We can play in the sand - and I bet it will be hot enough to swim!' And, I add to myself, parking will be easy and the beach will be, if not empty, then emptier.
It wouldn't be the first time I've taken Olivia out of school for the day just for fun. I am one of the mothers Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson took aim at last month, when she vowed to clamp down on the 'absence epidemic' in Britain's schools and issue even steeper fines to parents who allow children to skip classes for 'cheaper holidays', to avoid 'unpopular subjects', for 'birthday treats' or a 'runny nose'.
According to Phillipson, feckless mums like me, happy to take kids out of school for no 'good' reason, are 'significantly diminishing their future earning potential'.
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