KILLING HERSELF TO BE THIN

Deborah Jones, 60, blamed herself when her daughter was gripped by anorexia

- BESS BROWNING, ANN CUSACK

As I watched my daughter Jessica studying the restaurant menu before eagerly ordering a pasta dish, then something chocolatey for pudding, I couldn't have felt more proud of her. In June, on a family holiday in Menorca, it was the first time we had seen Jess, then 22, excited by food since she was a teenager.

A year earlier, Jess' priority in life was to see the needle of the weighing scales tip to the left. Emaciated and overwhelmed by anorexia and bulimia, it was as though my darling girl had been placed under a spell she could not escape. But now, we are finally getting our daughter back.

My twins Lucy and Jessica have been my world from the moment they were born in October 2000 and, like most mothers, I was always worrying about them. Living in an idyllic village in the Leicestershire countryside, the girls loved to explore, make mud pies and climb trees, and I'd watch with anxious eyes as they clambered from branch to branch.

They took part in Rainbows and Brownies each week, and tried their hand at dancing, piano and flute.

Despite being twins, by their teenage years, their differences began to shine. While Jess became reserved and sported strawberry blonde hair like her dad Andrew, Lucy was a lot more expressive, like me. I loved watching the girls blossom into young, independent women but it was during their teenage years that I started to worry more about Jess.

'What are we having for dinner tonight?" she would ask, just like any other 16-year-old upon their return from school. But she was fixated on healthy meals and how many calories were in everything she ate.

'Don't be silly, you don't need to lose weight, I told her as she eyed up the calories on a box of cereal. If we ordered a takeaway at the weekend, she'd pick at it but never indulge like the rest of us.