Discipline Strategies That Work

Disciplining your child doesn’t always come easy. Let MH fill you in on the strategies that work.

- Dr Nicola Davies

Some parents have well-behaved children; yet when another parent asks how they do it, they often react with surprise. This is because they are not sure exactly what they are doing to establish discipline – it just comes naturally. However, this isn’t much help to a parent who needs some guidance!

Experts recommend fostering both attachment and responsible autonomy by providing three to six-year-olds with the security of parental guidance while encouraging them to self discipline and develop their own personalities.

Finding the Balance The word discipline suggests control, but what good parents try to establish is the ability for children to control themselves – to delay gratification and consider the feelings and needs of others. The best way for kids to learn what is appropriate is by learning correct behaviour from their parents. For example, if a child is harassing a family pet, rather than shouting “Leave the animal alone,” get up and show the child a little trick. Demonstrate how the cat will purr if you stroke it a certain way, or the dog will wag its tail if you talk to it kindly and scratch behind its ears. Do keep an eye on this behaviour, as children who are consistently cruel to animals and other children may need expert help to prevent the behaviour from escalating.

Is There a Real Problem?

Yale University’s Alan Kazdin, professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry, has written 49 books with a focus on interventions for children with behavioural problems. He cites three factors to consider in establishing if a child has behavioural problems. These include:

Is the child’s behaviour unmanageable by teachers and parents?

Is the child violent – presenting a risk to others or themselves?

Is the child’s functioning within the home and at school so impaired that relationships are breaking down?