Why Is Motherhood So Lonely?

As a busy mum of two, JESSICA LIM is never alone, yet she has never felt more lonely. What’s missing, she wonders.

- Jessica Lim

It has been a puzzle of a morning. 

My son has progressed a level in swimming – a good thing. The only slot available for the new class coincides with his afternoon nap – a bad thing. Do we dare shift his nap back? Should we look for another swim school? Or should we stop the lessons?

My three-and-a-half-year-old daughter drinks three bottles of milk a day, too much by most paediatricians’ standards. We need a plan to wean her.

We have just bought a house and must carve out time to relook our savings plans. There are groceries to do, meals to plan and bills to be paid.

I am prioritising this mental to-do list as I sit in front of the dressing room table at 8am on a Thursday, applying make-up so I can look half-alive at work, with my son at my feet.

The two-year-old clambers onto my lap and grabs my lipstick. I now look like Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight.

My work e-mail box needs taming. I have a separate to-do list for work. The items on this list must be ticked off before noon – when I have to shuttle my daughter back from school.

My son pokes at a toy digger on the floor. I have a few minutes to indulge in the bad habit of browsing my Facebook feed.

I see photos posted by carefree friends on a weekend getaway in Hong Kong. I see the smiling faces at a wedding I wasn’t invited to. A mummy friend pulls out of our playgroup date. Her son is sick.