don't blame the parents

After trying all sorts of discipline strategies on his son, SHAN WEE comes to the conclusion that some kids are just difficult to manage.

- Shan Wee

If you are out shopping at the supermarket and a three-year-old is face down on the floor, screaming and throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get a Milo, it is very easy to shake your head and mutter: “Obviously, not enough discipline from the parents.”

When you hear a story in the news about a teenager throwing a bicycle down a stairwell, it’s likely that most of us will remark: “That boy’s parents have a lot to answer for.”

But I’ve stopped making such statements.

In my own small attempt to make the world a more compassionate place, I’ve stopped judging parents on the behaviour of their children because, while the way you raise and discipline a child has a massive impact on the sort of person he will become – sometimes, kids can just be total horrors.

These days, if I see a kid causing headaches for the mum or dad, my reading is simply: That’s a difficult child. Over time, he may grow out of certain traits or mature in some respects but, right now, I can see, he’s a difficult child.

IT’S MY FAULT?