I Gatecrashed My Daughter's Gap Year

A backpacker trip to Central America was what Alison van der Lande needed to recover from a serious illness – and get her mojo back.

As my 23-year-old daughter, Daisy, filled me in on all her upcoming travel plans to Central America, I couldn’t help but be envious. I loved travelling and often reminisced with her about my escapades in my twenties.

“Mum, you’re always talking about how you’d like to travel more. Why don’t you come with me?” she asked. I felt a thrill go through me. How many daughters ask their mothers to go travelling with them, even if it was only for a few weeks. Could I? I instantly felt guilty at the thought. I had so much going on, but I’d never really had any time away to do anything for myself. As I began to run through excuses, she stopped me in my tracks: “I’ve said you could come, now book your flight!” Five years ago I had a brain aneurysm and two years later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had survived both, but that’s not to say they hadn’t taken their toll. It was a stressful time and trying to keep my business afloat with three children to think about was tough. Amid it all something my doctor said kept echoing in my head: “Right, we’ve just saved your life, now go and enjoy it.”

I was 52 and pretty sure I was going through a midlife crisis. Despite having a successful handbag business, I had lost a lot of confidence and began to question who I was. When I floated the idea to my husband, he said, “For God’s sake, just book it.”

I booked a flight to Guatemala City and, in May 2018, packed a backpack borrowed from my son and said goodbye to my husband at the airport. As soon as I got through security, I headed to a bar, ordered a gin and tonic and burst into tears. I didn’t know who I was or what I was about. Going on an adventure like this was both a release and overwhelming.