The Secret Life of a Fern

A touching tale of a special fern, true love and a favourite record album

- Mark Heinemann, Prince George, B.C.

Many years ago, I met a girl named Cathy and somehow managed to work up the courage to call and ask her out on a date. I figured it was safe that way, because if she started to laugh at me or made some soul-crushing comment, I could hang up and comfortably melt down in private.

Well, she said yes—and after 40 years, I’m certain that she sometimes regrets that call! We went out on a few dates, learned a little bit about each other and decided, or at least I had decided, we should pursue this relationship.

Things progressed and one day, wanting to show off her culinary prowess, Cathy decided to make me lunch. Burned tomato soup and a soggy tuna fish sandwich would have caused many men with weaker stomachs to head for the hills, but given what I’d eaten growing up, things were looking up!