Romance & reality

Planning a future together? Here are some important conversations you need to have before rushing into marriage

- KIM ARENDSE

HE MAY seem to have it all – he’s a good man with a stable job and your chemistry is magnetic.

But if you’re drea­ ming of a lifetime commitment, there’s so much more you need to know about him – and he needs to know about you – to ensure relatively smooth sailing until death do you part.

“We see too many couples rushing into marriage before they are ready and without a decent understanding of the person they’re getting married to,” says Busisiwe Malangwane, a regi­stered counsellor from Midrand.

She says the rush may be because people feel pressured by parents who want grandkids or they are affected by the social pressure to marry when their friends do.

But because you’re making a com­mitment to spend the rest of your life with this person, it’s worth investing some time and effort to get to know them before tying the knot.

“It’s dangerous to get married dur­ ing the honeymoon stage of your love life,” says Nomonde Precious Stamper, a social work practitioner at Eyam Consultancy in Grahamstown.

“Couples are very loving at the on­set of the relationship, but you will never know the person you are dating if you have never seen them angry. How are they when they are at their worst?

“Do they support you? If they don’t support you during your worst times now, chances are, they won’t support you when you’re married.