Over centuries, men have convinced us that we are to like ourselves only in a form that is pleasing to them. But by doing this, we are not only responding to the male gaze, but also using it as a lens to view ourselves with and peg our self-worth against, observes writer Shunali Khullar Shroff. As she encounters some of the art world’s masterpieces in Paris, she is reminded that at one time,women with full faces and plump bodies were the epitome of beauty.
I am at a clothing store in Paris, trying out dresses. There was a time I could blindly buy clothes in my size without trying, knowing that they would fit me beautifully. But those days are behind me; I have to try many outfits before I find the one that flatters me and suits my style without me having to hold my breath in for an entire evening. Seeing that I do not look as good as I hoped to in the dress I have just put on, I make a mental note to avoid sugar and carbs at night during the rest of my trip.
Dissatisfaction similar to mine is being felt by someone else outside the fitting room, where I notice a twenty-something girl in a green dress critically examining her reflection in the mirror. She squeezes the little flesh around her flat stomach and complains to her friend that it looks “flabby” in the dress. This girl is in good shape, but it is apparent that she doesn’t consider herself thin enough. I know that feeling only too well; I have been her for most of my life.
Later the same day, I am at the Musée de l’Orangerie, and not for the first time, I am struck by the contrast between the idealised beauty standards of today and those from past periods in history. As I come face-toface with the paintings of Pierre-Auguste Renoir, I am reminded that men in his time preferred soft and supple women. He was known to celebrate female sensuality through his work, and if you look at his Femme Nue Dans Un Paysage (Female Nude In A Landscape) or consider Baigneuse Assise (Seated Bather Drying Her Leg), you will notice their full faces, plump bodies, fleshy stomachs and gapless thighs, just as they ought to be—unlike the present, where young girls consider thigh gap to be a thing to aspire to. I suddenly begin to feel better about my own body, which I don’t believe is fat, but that I do know has gone soft in places.
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