The best preparation for marriage is not only to choose the best spouse but it is also to work on being the ideal spouse for someone. Regardless of your present dating prospects, you can develop qualities that will prepare you for marriage. People often have the erroneous idea that good marriages just happen. They don’t realize that just as academic success is a combination of skills, knowledge and hard work, so is success in relationships.
There are a small number of couples for whom relating comes easily, but most people have to work hard to make their marriages work. This work begins by adopting the attitude that marriage is about understanding life, growing old and getting wiser together. Here are few tips that you must consider before you finally say yes to a marriage proposal.
Judge Yourself Before Judging Others:
While many singles have expectations of a marriage partner, they can be totally oblivious of their own shortcomings. For instance, When a fat guy expects to marry a slim and healthy girl, I don’t think he is fair in making that judgement. Similarly a girl who is irresponsible and does not take care of her own self should not expect her husband to be responsible and understanding. while a good marriage can make happy people more fulfilled and may take away some loneliness, we should not need marriage to make life meaningful, give us worth or be our sole source of meaning. We should want to marry so that we can grow emotionally and spiritually and be able to give of ourselves to spouse and children. If we are basically unhappy and don’t feel that we have much to give, then marriage compounds our emotional problems and dissatisfaction with life. People who are generally unhappy and expect circumstances or other people to make them feel better are usually disappointed. Nothing external can undo years of emotional deprivation. If we cant make ourselves happy, no one will be able to do so. Marriage cannot provide for all of our emotional needs, unless our needs are few. No one should expect another person to devote his or her life to making us happy. Even when people promise that during courtship, it is not realistic. Such promises rarely extends beyond the early weeks of marriage.
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