Lawn breakers

Trouble-making bunnies have demolished Toby’s lawn, so it’s time to set things straight and fix his tattered sward…

- Boby Buckland

WHEN I was a child, our family pet was a free-range guinea pig that spent his days grazing the lawns. Horatio – thanks for asking – lived in an upturned washing-up bowl that had a cavy-shaped hole cut in the side. Once the grass below was trimmed, he would poke his nose out of the hole, lift the plastic dome, and move, tortoise-like, to pastures new.

Neighbors might have laughed, but Horatio kept both his dignity and the lawn in excellent condition.

If only the same could be said for my daughter’s rabbits. Their bawdiness I could forgive, but their cavalier attitude to lawn care has left me with no choice but to present Bunson and Hedges – kind of you to ask – with their P45s.

The rapscallions have now been moved to a grass-free part of the garden, while I repair their burrowings.