The TIES that BIND

Arthritis can be hard on reationships, but learning to cope can strengthen bonds –and even bring blessings.

- By Mary Anne Dunkin

When Wendy Santos married her husband, Vince, in 2001, she couldn’t have predicted what lay ahead. Within a few years she would need to become “a specialist in respiratory care” through a trio of surgeries to enlarge Vince’s airways, which had been damaged over a lifetime with juvenile arthritis. She didn’t anticipate the shots, wound care and missed days of work that would come with those and eight additional surgeries. She didn’t realize how Vince’s arthritis would affect their lives even on good days.

Arthritis is a family affair for Wendy and Vince Santos and their daughters, Joy and Hope.

“I didn’t know enough to know what I was getting myself into,” says Wendy. “But I felt like he really loved me, and I really loved him, so we’ll figure it out. Once I agreed [to marry him], I just never looked back.”

Vince himself didn’t know what to expect from the disease he had battled since he was 2 years old. But once Wendy came into his life, he says, one of his greatest concerns was how it would affect her.

Eighteen years of marriage and two daughters later, the Houston couple’s life together has been a lesson in the trials arthritis can bring to a relationship, the determination, compassion and love it takes to deal with them, and the rewards of a strong and loving partnership.

“We have learned a lot. We have gone through so much together,” says Wendy. “Still, I would do it all over again, because what we have is really special.”