Spring Clean Your Life

Porn, booze, smokes, gambling – discover how to take a broom to the four vices most likely to bring a man undone

- MH Editors

1 PORN!

Step away from the laptop and reacquaint yourself with three-dimensional objects of desire. This is the MH guide to shutting down your porn habit number

What started as a handy way to relieve tension now absorbs hours of your free time; it has you missing The Walking Dead because you were busy watching Intercourse with a Vampire. Pornography still generates more internet traffic than anything else online. And it can impact on more than just your download limits: Charlie Sheen’s exwife Denise Richards cited his ‘habit’ in divorce proceedings.

Yet porn is the convenience food to the haute cuisine of real sex. While that microwave burger is quick and cheap, it will ultimately leave you feeling dirty – and not in a good way. Here’s how to put steak au poivre back on your menu.

The Damage

While we’re sure porn stars like Jenna Haze and Sasha Grey are perfectly lovely women, it is not a good idea to spend too much virtual time with them. “Your feel-good hormone dopamine spikes when you watch porn,” says Dr Chris Forester from counselling service Help Porn Addiction. “In time, this over stimulation manifests as a loss of libido and erectile dysfunction 30 years too early.” This is why users demand increasingly extreme videos.

Masturbation causes the release of the same chemicals as sex with a partner, forming a biochemical attachment – except with websites rather than people. It can even affect your career: a study by Nielsen Online found more than a quarter of employees have watched online porn during the working day.