It’s not about where you put your hands. Or even your lips.
At first it was hard for me to figure out what the man I was kissing reminded me of, but once I pictured it, I couldn’t un- picture it: he was like one of those drinking- bird toys that bob their head up and down in perpetuity. I very much liked him and had been very much looking forward to kissing him, and I was so bummed. He was a drinking bird, bobbing against my mouth with dry, mechanical rhythm. I stuck with him for a month or so, hoping that I could change his ways or that he would just, like, relax, but I couldn’t and he didn’t. Finally, we exchanged rote pecks and parted ways.
I thought of the drinking birds again last summer, only this time it wasn’t the guy who was the bird. It was me. I was on my third date with someone who I could see was objectively attractive and likable, but for whom I felt nothing. I was kissing him so mechanically that even I was bored, so I wasn’t especially surprised when he pulled away and said, “I have an early meeting tomorrow.” (He was unemployed.)
But that wasn’t the end of it. For several months after that, I was a terrible kisser. I would have a great date with someone, but as soon as we were in front of my apartment and he was leaning in, I’d go rigid. I would stand there, hands on his shoulders, moving my head with all the ease and finesse of my year-eight self. I’d been struck down by the kissing yips, and I assumed my romantic career was over.
この記事は Men's Health Australia の May 2019 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です ? サインイン
この記事は Men's Health Australia の May 2019 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です? サインイン
Good Guy, Bad Drinker
When booze is involved, you might not be as charming as you think you are
How To Change Your Story
For a third of my life, I lived in an endless replay of the story of how I never measured up – a loop that kept me locked in a spiral of shame and meaningless hustling. Then I got the nudge to do some fact-checking
THE GOOD FIGHT
When the going gets tough . . . the tough put others first. Here we salute some of the more selfless and courageous responses to the COVID-19 pandemic. Why? Because hope and optimism are catchy. And in this time of crisis it’s worth remembering that the virus isn’t the only thing that spreads
TAKE REMOTE CONTROL
Working from home using furniture that isn’t built-for-purpose could take a toll on your body. MH editor Scott Henderson went hunting for solutions
Morgan Mitchell
The eye-catching star of the track has stopped running from a troubled past and is doing things her way. Get used to it
SNACK SIZED - WORKOUTS
Purpose-built for the busy man, micro workouts could make you stronger, fitter and more mobile. The best part? You can do them in self-isolation and integrate them into your working day
ENTER THE BEAST
Big, fast and ultra high-performing, Mercedes’ latest offering could make a grown man cry
KUMAIL NANJIANI CAN DO ANYTHING
TRANSFORM HIS WHOLE BODY. REIMAGINE A MARVEL HERO. REDEFINE THE ROLE OF LEADING MAN. AND (OF COURSE) MAKE US LAUGH
HOW 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL CHANGED HOW MEN COOK
What happens when an ageing prizefighter, a quirky gadget and iconic ’90s marketing combine to take over the world?
BETTER MAN
Pop superstar Robbie Williams got in fighting shape while beating his mental demons into submission. Here he reveals how he pulled off perhaps the biggest transformation of them all