Let's (Not) Talk About Sex!

Meet the newest sexual minority: the asexuals, who are interested in an emotional connect (and other things fun!) minus the trappings of sexual intimacy.

- Shikha Kumar

TWENTY-NINE-year-old Grace Singh’s bio on Tinder states that she’s a ‘demisexual’ (someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction unless she forms a strong emotional connect), which is a bit of an anomaly for a dating app that’s famous for facilitating hook-ups.

“Surprisingly, I’ve met some great people who understood me, while there were others who asked what the term meant. I don’t hesitate before explaining,” says the Delhi-based healthcare professional, who started a Facebook page called Indian Aces in 2014.

Singh was awarded the Orange Flower award from Women’s Web for building the online platform for the Indian asexual community. And if you thought Singh’s orientation is among a minority, you’re wrong.

Across India, a growing section of individuals are discovering asexuality and are gradually coming out – to themselves and to the world. And the anonymity that the Internet allows seems to be a great first step.

SEX DOESN’T SELL

So what is asexuality? Simply put, it’s when a person doesn’t experience sexual desires. It’s a sexual orientation but a misunderstood one. Given that we live in a hypersexualised world, where most of what we consume in pop culture from TV shows and films to books and memes has erotic underpinnings, asexuality may seem like a fallacy.

In 2007, when American asexual activist David Jay appeared on the Montel Williams Show, he was grilled on why he felt that way. “It can be difficult to be an asexual in a world that’s so focused on sexuality,” Jay had said at the time. Ten years later, the conversation around asexuality has finally gathered steam – recent research in the Archives of Sexual Behavior states that asexuality is not a disorder.