Are You Too Nice?

Are you the one everyone turns to when they need help? Do you make all the plans for your friends and family? Well unfortunately, all this people-pleasing might actually be bad for you.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lend others a helping hand, unless it’s to the detriment of your own mental health – that’s when it crosses the line from “generous” to “people pleasing”. In an article for Psychology Today, Dr Sherry Pagoto describes people pleasers as those with “an intense need to please and care for others… deeply rooted in either a fear of rejection and/or fear of failure.” In short, it takes helping others to a decidedly unhealthy level.

Not only can wanting to please others all the time put a lot of extra stress and pressure on yourself, but in the worst case scenario, “you’ll wake up and find yourself depressed because you’re [overloaded and] can’t do it all,” says Susan Newman, a social psychologist and author of The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It – And Mean it And Stop People-pleasing Forever.

Have trouble saying “no”? Here are some ways to break the people pleaser syndrome.

Set your boundaries