So, you want to​​​​​​​ buy a boat...

What to buy can be fraught with difficulties, here Neil Barnett takes a sideways (but not necessarily inaccurate) view of the whole idea.

For those of you new to narrow boating and looking to purchase your first boat, you might like to take a look at what you may be letting yourself in for. You have been warned....

Firstly, you will need to trawl the internet forums and research through the many printed publications. Walk the towpaths chatting to boaters and you’ll soon discover it might not be quite as straightforward as you thought. Differing opinions abound and sometimes argued vehemently so. Whether it’s pump-out toilet or cassette, portholes or windows, or the rather sexist comment that bow thrusters are ‘girlie buttons’, all are capable of producing heated debate over a pint or a casual chat on the towpath.

But it doesn’t stop there, unfortunately. I doubt there’s another walk of life that produces such diverse and often passionate debate as the boating fraternity does.

Let’s begin with the choices regarding the configuration of your boat. Traditional-type sterns are surely the best because they give you much more cabin space inside. On cold days the person at the helm can stand just inside the cabin and have the benefit of the heat emanating from within and gain some shelter from the rain and wind too. Traditional type sterns also look aesthetically better.

But what about the lack of room for partners, friends, or your pet? Surely it must a real hassle constantly having to work around other people and worrying about tripping over the dog when you’re moving the tiller from side to side, not to mention the risk to your other crew members perched precariously on the narrow gunwale hanging on for dear life in order to give the tiller-person the room to steer?