“Emotionally unavailable” is the buzzy term Everyone uses when dudes won’t commit. but really, it’s total bs.
The other Weekend, my friend had a drunken bar make-out with a dude who turned out to have a “sort of” girlfriend. Before that, she spent a few months dating a man who dickhead alert was secretly married with a child. “My therapist thinks I’m only attracted to emotionally unavailable men,” she told me afterward. This pissed me off, because people used to suggest that to me too, judgmentally, like I was broken and masochistically handpicking guys who’d poke at my wounds. Now that I’m in a healthy relationship, I look back at all my past relationships and realize what BS that “emotionally unavailable” pronouncement is.
It’s Blame-y and Baseless
The idea that we go after emotionally unavailable partners is a put-down used to shame and blame single women. It puts the onus on us to choose more wisely next time: You idiot, get it together. You’re never going to find a man if you keep chasing after emotionally unavailable ones.
When really, my friend isn’t single because she was attracted to two men who weren’t ready to commit to her. She’s single because she hasn’t met the right guy yet.
この記事は Cosmopolitan Philippines の July 2016 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です ? サインイン
この記事は Cosmopolitan Philippines の July 2016 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です? サインイン
The Millennial Sex Slump
What’s got this generation down and out instead of hot and heavy?
Angel Healing And Past Lives
The CURIOUS COSmO GIRl’S GUIde TO
Confessions
Because even Chirtmas can be traumatizing
8 Things You Should Know About Getting Tested For HIV
December 1 is World Aids Day
Julie Sparks Joy
All her life, actress, singer, and songwriter Julie San Jose has been making everyone around her happy. Here’s why she’s not stopping anytime soon.
The 411 On Foreplay
Here’s how to really get ready for the main event.
How We Make It Work Gela Munoz And Paolo Salgado
The blogger and creative director open up about being each other’s first and last.
Faith, Love and Hope
Liza Soberano wants you to know that she is more than skin-deep.
10 Things We All Worry About
Unclench your fists, slow your breathing, and let go of your hair. We’ve got good news for you worrywarts— we’re all doing it!
Love Better: Work Towards That Happy Ending
Sure, you’re a catch. But you can make your relationship skills A+ by working on these four great-mate traits—even while you’re single.