Stop Being An Askhole!

Always asking for advice on an unhappy situation? It’s time to do something, says Jameela Jamil.

- Jameela Jamil

Askhole: a person who repeatedly asks your advice but never takes it. I have a few of these in my life. They are some of my favourite people; some of my smartest, funniest, most talented and generally wonderful friends. But they also drive me mad, although I’m sure I’m guilty too, with some of the poor decisions I’ve made in my time. For starters, I’d officially like to apologise to all of my loved ones for at least seven months of 2009, as well as March to May of 2013.

Since we’re on the topic, I’m aware that I didn’t make the best decisions last January. I’m also sorry for every time I’ve broken up with a boyfriend, let you slag him off to me, and then got back with him. I’m the most sorry for doing that.

Anyway, I digress.

It feels as though people are guiltiest of not taking the advice they seek when it comes to relationships. Some of us push the line much further than we’d normally deem acceptable in the name of love. When someone is miserable at work, they start entertaining the idea of a new job and, usually, start making moves in that direction.

If someone has a nightmare neighbour who disturbs their quality of life, they tend to get other people involved to confront that person, or they start looking to relocate.

And yet, when it comes to a relationship that makes you feel anxious/bored/undermined/unsexy/angry/claustrophobic/all of the above, we tend to stay longer than necessary.

Meanwhile we moan about it to our friends in order to feel justified. We listen to their wise words, digest them and then… we let that part of our brain that is governed by fear dictate our actions – we dismiss the sensible option to change our situation.