Raising Grounded Children

DR QURATULAIN ZAIDI of MindNLife shares her thoughts on the tricky matter of parenting in an age of instant gratification.

When did we stop being parents and forget to say “no”? The first time someone posed this question to me was five years ago, just before I gave a talk to a group about technology and children’s use of it.

It’s an important question for parents to ask themselves, especially in what is, for many, a climate of plenty. In a city like Hong Kong, where many people feel more entitled than others, it’s a tough job for parents to bring up children who are grounded.

In my opinion, the best starting point is to go back to the basic notion of determining the values we want to instil in our kids and in the next generation – those values that are important to you as a family. Here’s a list of some of the ones that I think are key.

#1 Value of respect

Respect for children, the family, society and the community: this is one of the most important things you can teach a child; and to teach it you must show it in your everyday behaviour.

#2 Value of money

Most children know that money doesn’t just come out of a hole in the wall, though that’s what my son totally believed when he was four or five years of age! We had to explain the concept that money goes into the bank only after a month of hard work and long hours – which is why we sometimes don’t have more hours to devote to the kids themselves.

One good way of giving older children a better understanding of money is to assist them in finding a part-time job. Working helps provide some perspective and a sense of how many hours they need to put in to earn money for basics like transport and lunch for the day.

#3 Value of hard work