Hanky Panty Banter With Sorabh Pant

One of the top stand-up comedians in India, Sorabh Pant is royally crass, pungent and gives no shit about what you think about him when he’s making those high-pitched impersonations on stage. FHM sits him down and throws the most bizarre questions at him, to test the proverbial patience...

- Siddharth M Joshi

You are a father. You are an Indian. You are an Indian father. What profession have you chosen for your kid?

I want my son to pay me back for all the expenses I incurred in creating, raising and educating him. So, I now understand why Indian parents want their kids to be engineers or doctors - it’s not a profession, it’s a refund of some kind. But, I’m already doing ‘My Baby Thinks I’m Funny’ - a standup show inspired by my son. And, it’s making money for my son. So, he is already working. His profession is being my muse.

What is the latest lesson you have learnt in life?

I’ve stopped learning lessons. I’m 34 and I have a kid. My only purpose in life is to make a shit tonne of money - when I’m 52, give half of it to my wife and son. And, with the other half move to Kullu Manali and spend my days getting baked and climbing mountains. My lesson right now is to live. But, seriously - a lesson I am learning is ‘listening’. I listen to everyone. Especially people who I disagree with. It’s something we as Indians tend to have an issue with these days. Unless you’re a screaming banshee of a dickhead - I will listen to you.

What is the difference between Delhi and Mumbai?

Eh, I don’t buy this Delhi vs Mumbai nonsense. I love both cities. I was born in Delhi, raised in Mumbai - which means I’m hated in two states. But, in general Delhi people are more aware of politics than Mumbai. Mumbai people are more aware of how to make money than Delhi. Unfortunately, Delhi’s interest in politics extends even into normal life.

If there was one Shakespeare play that you could re-write, which one would you pick?