Keep struggling with the same issues? Charlotte Haigh MacNeil explains how to break free.
Psychologists Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko, authors of Reinventing Your Life (Plume; £10), coined the term ‘lifetrap’ to describe unhelpful patterns of thinking, feeling and behaviour that are created early in childhood. ‘Lifetraps determine how we think, feel, act and relate to others,’ says Young. ‘They trigger strong feelings such as anger, sadness and anxiety. Even when we appear to have everything, we’re often unable to savour life or believe in our accomplishments as a result of lifetraps.’ Which of Young and Klosko’s 11 lifetraps are affecting you? Read the statements below and work out your score.
SCORING KEY
1. Completely untrue
2. Mostly untrue
3. Slightly more true than untrue
4. Moderately true
5. Mostly true
6. Describes me perfectly
STATEMENTS
1. I find myself clinging to people I’m close to because I’m afraid they’ll leave me.
2. I look out for people’s ulterior motives.
3. I worry more than average about danger – that I’ll get sick or that some harm will come to me, for instance.
4. I don’t feel I can cope well by myself, so I feel I need other people to help me get by.
5. I haven’t had someone to nurture me or care deeply about what happens to me.
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