Can You Keep A Secret?

And should you? Poon Li-Wei sought out two experts to weigh in on how having secrets can affect the relationships in your life.

Your Spouse

WHAT SHOULD YOU NEVER KEEP SECRET ABOUT?

Fatin (F) lists down:

1 Health conditions

You should always have a list somewhere of the medications you are taking, previous medical history, blood group, and allergies for future reference. The same goes to your spouse as accidents and complications can happen within seconds.

2 Finances

It’s been estimated that money issues are the driving force in 90 per cent of divorces – so be open to talking about your feelings, experiences, and hopes about managing your finances together, and be willing to negotiate.

3 Mental health issues

You need someone supportive to lend a different perspective, help you see hope and possibility, and to know that others love and care for you – you need to let your spouse understand what you’re going through.

4 Sexual preferences

A majority of people under-communicate when it comes to sex – even in long-term relationships.

5 Hidden feelings

Don’t hide your feelings – especially resentment and anger – from your spouse as these will build up and manifest in other areas of your life.

BUT IS IT OKAY TO KEEP SECRETS?

P: ‘White lies can at times make life easier. The classic case would be: ‘Do I look good?’ As long as it’s harmless and isn’t said out of malice, it should be okay. A warning sign is when you’re constantly avoiding the truth because you’re scared it will lead to arguments. That hints at deeper underlying issues.”