Her Cancer Was Our Blessing

Kamal Effendi shares with Poon Li-Wei how his wife's cancer diagnosis, taught them to live life to the fullest.

- Poon Li-Wei

“It seems so surreal that just a year ago, I was Kamal Effendi: introvert, English teacher to primary school children, and happily married. Today, I am Kamal Effendi: Idzni Dalila’s better half, widower, and finding the strength she had left behind for me to continue on without her.

THE FIRST MESSAGE

I started blogging (writing about my life and thoughts online at kamaleffendi.blogspot.my) during my student days in New Zealand. My posts would draw messages from girls asking me out, but I’d decline as I wasn’t looking for a fling and didn’t plan on settling down before I hit 30. But they say it takes only one person to change your perspective on life – Idzni’s first message to me on Instagram (@kamaleffendi) did just that. She had written in length of her intention of exploring a serious relationship and that there’d be no hard feelings should things not pan out. I thought that very courageous and mature of her– and agreed to a casual meet-up.

COMING CLEAN

At the time, she was studying medicine in London and we arranged to meet when she flew home for her sister’s wedding. Even though we had exchanged numbers, our messages didn’t skew towards romance as her texts were mostly related to my blog’s content. Then, just two weeks before our appointment, she broke the news to me: she had stage four renal cell cancer (RCC).

MEETING EACH OTHER