Letter To Scarlet Snow From Her Mommy

Vicki Belo shares the joys of parenthood she missed as a young mother in medical school, the reason for the seeming secrecy of her third child’s birth, and the second chance at life that her two-year-old daughter has brought her.

Dear Scarlet,

I had always been planning to write you a letter, but since I hate writing, I was not sure it would ever happen. As usual, fate stepped in, and your Tita Anna sobrepeña asked me to do it in LIFESTYLEASIA .

So here goes. First, let me tell you a little something about the time before you came into our lives. I first became a mom with your Kuya Quark when i was 23 years old. I was still a second year student in medicine proper at UST. I remember being nine months pregnant during our final exams. I was so huge; I couldn't fit behind the desk. Three years later, I had your Ate Cristalle when I was 26 years old and in clerkship.

Throughout their growing up years, I was physically around but mentally absent because I was so busy studying and going on 36-hour duties every two days. I even went abroad for three years to study in Thailand and in the united states, where I focused on lasers and liposuction. I would come home to see them only every three months. I finally came back into their lives (both physically and mentally) when Cristalle was four and quark was seven. On the surface, I did all the motherly things, like wake up at 12, 2, 4 and 6am to breast feed when they were babies, then pump milk to leave in the fridge. Despite these, I knew I was missing so much of the parental experiences, and it always left me teary eyed.

I've always longed to have at least one more child I could be with 100%. Unfortunately, by this time, your papa atom, now my ex-husband, and I were separated. So I thought it was completely out of the question. But the dream of having you refused to die. I would pray that, somehow, god would make it possible.