There is no one ‘right’ way to deal with a diagnosis that your child has special needs, but there will likely be one thing that all these parents have in common on their journey and that is to find and thrive within acceptance.
Society usually imbues parents of children with special needs with the accolade of ‘special’ themselves, as if they have been chosen by some divine force. In reality, these parents are no more prepared or equipped than any other parent – they simply do what needs to be done in the face of their child’s needs. Whether your child is born with special needs or develops a special need later on in life, it is a road that is walked by many parents in many different ways. While the journey for each family is different, the aim for most parents on a profound level is to do what is best for their child – the child’s needs come first, and families are often incredibly resilient in the way that they meet these needs within a family dynamic. That being said, there are certain sign posts on the route that can help parents with their first tentative steps forward.
SIGNPOST 1
DEAL WITH THE FEELINGS
Shock. Confusion. Sadness. Guilt. Fear. Purpose. Dedication. Love. A diagnosis is a multi-layered emotional confrontation. It doesn’t allow a parent to hide or deny – although some may attempt this at first. At the end of the day, the feelings are there and need to be dealt with. Seek out counsel within your relationship, family, community, church or social circle, or even consult a therapist; do whatever works for you and your family. Find ways to deal with the feelings and move through them so that they no longer hold you in a state of inaction.
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