Lifelong Platonic Love

Meet the people choosing a different type of love

- Monica Karpinski

A few months after moving in with her friend Susie, Tracey Emerson knew that she'd found the life she wanted.

"It just kept feeling like it was a better situation than any alternative," she says. "I always kept feeling like, 'This is where I want to be,' and that it does make sense."

THAT WAS OVER 20 years ago, and the pair have lived together ever since as platonic life partners a relationship where the person you build your life with is a friend.

Just like a spouse, platonic partners may share a home, finances, and even co-parent, but aren't romantic or sexual with each other.

These sorts of partnerships are nothing new-the concept of chosen family is well-ingrained in LGBTQAI+ culture, while 19thcentury "Boston marriages" allowed unmarried women to live together- but a surge of interest driven by social media has thrust them into a new spotlight.

Now, we have the terms "platonic life partnership" and "platonic soulmate", plus posts clocking millions of views that represent and legitimise these relationships.

And yet, because having a friend as the person we go through life with looks different to what we're taught to expect, there's still a lack of understanding around platonic partnerships and how they can work.

"There's this idea that you'll have friends, but a life partner-or what might be deemed a romantic partner will become primary over that. The idea with a platonic life partner is that, actually, that's not the case," says sex and relationships psychotherapist, Miranda Christophers.

"You're making a commitment to prioritise that relationship in your life. It's just another way of experiencing a fulfilling relationship."

More than "just friends"