Go Big Or Go Home

As facelifts go, the one done on the flagship BMW has been rather… massive

- Low Ka Wei

My ageing Land Rover had to go into the shop for major work the other week. A relative, seeing how I have an allergy to public transport, lent me his previous generation 740Li to tide me over. Munich’s finest proved brilliant. Other than its propensity for sticking a foot or two out of even the most generous parking spaces, it was fast, quiet, comfortable and, unlike its more flashy competition, discreet.

But perhaps a bit overly so. When I picked up a friend in the car, he commented on how nicely appointed and spacious it was… for a 5 Series.

While petrolheads will never commit this faux pas, outside of the most avid car-spotter circles this is too easy a case of mistaken identity. Who could blame them? If you put a 3, 5 and 7 Series from the last era side by side, it appears as if the draughtsmen simply started with the smallest car, scaled up the blueprint by 15 percent, selected “Save as new file” from the menu and repeated the process once more. Then called it a day and headed to the pub for bier and Schweinshaxe.

LET’S FACE IT

Which is great for the smaller car – it makes you look like you bought something more expensive. But not so fantastic if you had actually ponied up for the range-topper. At some point the design honchos up at headquarters must have put a stop to this indolence. That is the only reason I could think of why the carmaker had gone to town with the new grille on the G11/G12 “life cycle impulse” (BMW-speak for “mid-life revamp”). While most facelifts involve a jab of botox, the one done on the 7 Series was more like reconstructive surgery, including a full-on nose job: That honker of a grille now boasts 40 percent more acreage than before.