Surrogacy Was Worth It

FREELANCE WRITER, SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER, BLOGGER AND MOM, SUSANN DEYSEL SPEAKS ABOUT INFERTILITY, LOSING FAITH IN GYNAECOLOGISTS, AND SURROGACY

Although I’d expected it,I was devastated when the doctor confirmed I’minfertile. We’d been trying for a baby since 2011 and finally had tests done in 2013. I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and 0.5 AMH (anti-müllerian hormone), which is extremely low egg reserve.

I was angry that my complaints of heavy periods, excessive pain and severe anaemia had been ignored by gynaecologists over the years. They could have diagnosed endometriosis much sooner and given me hope of conceiving one day.

Fortunately my husband Colin was supportive throughout the ordeal. It couldn’t have been easy dealing with my rollercoaster emotions. I’d go from being calm to gloomy and angry, and cried for months. Every day was the same: I’d wake up in the morning, put on my make-up, go to work and manage a marketing department. At the end of the day I’d make my way home and the minute I arrived in my neighbourhood, mascara-filled tears would stream down my face. One day a colleague realised something was wrong when he accidentally rear-ended my car. I got out with a red face and raccoon eyes – and it was not because of the accident.

We started the fertility treatments the same year. Stage 4 endometriosis means you have to scrape the womb and wait for a few months before trying to harvest eggs. However, the endometriosis grows back. As I have a very low egg reserve we decided to focus on harvesting eggs to be able to bank embryos. A treatment consists of a scan, painful injections into your stomach for a few days, another scan and then an aspiration (egg harvesting). I’d be optimistic about each treatment cycle and hope that each time would be successful, only to have my hopes crushed with disappointing news. I’d cry for a whole week, then pick myself up and wait for the next treatment.