Hot Advice From A Cool Girl

How To Ace Your First Romantic Holiday Together

01 On the first night, the local sleazeball tries to muscle in on her

“Getting chatted up by the locals is something every girl has to put up with when they’re away. Obviously, it’s awkward if I’m there with you. The best way to handle it is to give the guy a talking to, without being violent. If he isn’t listening you can be more forceful, but no girl is impressed by a man who uses his fists before his brain.”

02 You’ve fallen asleep in the sun and the results aren’t pretty

“I think it’s OK for a guy to admit he’s sunburnt to shit. If you’re bright red it’s a bit difficult to hide the fact you’re in pain! I’d laugh at first, but then I’d love to help you put your after sun on. I’ve never drawn a dick on someone’s back with suncream when they’ve fallen asleep – that’d be too mean.”