Bottled up boyhood sex assaults
Harrowing bedroom confession
Justice after 33 years
Snuggling under the duvet, I cuddled up to my boyfriend Jonny.
Only, he turned over, pulled away – my heart sank.
What have I done? I worried.
It was October 2007, and we’d been dating a few months, but we’d been friends for three years after meeting through work.
He’d been an events planner, me a waitress supervisor.
‘I love you,’ Jonny had confessed one night.
What’s wrong?
I’d known for ages I wanted more than friendship, and we instantly became an item.
Jonny made me laugh, feel special. Only, my perfect man had become withdrawn.
‘Are you OK?’ I asked. ‘Is there anything you want to talk about?’
‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘Just tired.’
Our relationship was still new, so I didn’t push it. But the longer we dated, the worse his depressive moods became.
I felt Jonny was holding something back. One minute, he’d be affectionate, the next he’d push me away, refuse to be intimate.
If I raised the subject, he’d retreat into his shell. Still, he was the love of my life, so I accepted it.
We had two girls, Autumn and Skye, then married in 2011. It was the happiest day of my life.
But Jonny’s distant moods haunted our marriage.
I couldn’t shift the feeling something was desperately wrong. I’d even blame myself.
Maybe he just doesn’t fancy me, I thought, started obsessing over my body.
But Jonny was adamant that he loved me.
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