Florida Man: Bananas Republican

How Alfie Oakes made himself a MAGA magnate

- By David Silverberg

IT'S THE DAY before spring, but in Naples, Florida, a summer-strength sun is searing a regional park as flags flap and music pounds. The event is Patriot Fest 2022, a country concert, county fair, and far-right rally rolled into one.

Some 400 people in Let's talk Covid shirts and MAGA hats have paid up to $150 to attend, lured by promised headliner Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.), who never materializes. But for now, warmed up by conservative rocker Ted Nugent, the crowd welcomes the event's next speaker: Francis Alfred Oakes III.

Widely known as Alfie, the local farm and grocery magnate is 53, with broad shoulders and touches of gray in his close-cropped hair. Alfie is often clad in a short-sleeved polo shirt, the nearuniform of the region. Today's version is emblazoned with an upside-down American flag, a symbol of distress.

I want to get behind people that have backbone, he roars. It's the only way we're going to take back this country. It's the only chance! School board is just a little microcosm of the same 535-i.e., Congress-that are making reckless decisions. A chant rises from the sweating crowd: Alfie! Alfie! Alfie! To admirers-17,000 congregate on his various Facebook pages-Alfie is a godsend, a fearless, truth-telling patriot. His screeds are met with thanks and praise. Naples is blessed to have a Man of God stand up against evil, one fan gushed over Alfie's defiance of local mask mandates.