Double Lockdown's Got Measure Of Me

Nae fitba or pub and now nae grub .. it’s torture

- Michael Gannon’s

Dominic Cummings reckons Barnard Castle in Durham was a sight for sore eyes but if he’d taken one look at me he might have decided not to get in the motor.

After 10 weeks of lockdown, I look the other side of a funhouse mirror.

There’s not two bits of me going in the right direction.

The first few weeks of eating were fine when we were getting out for government-sanctioned walks and even the odd jog.

Then I pulled a muscle. No, not that one. Behave. I’m sure there will be a few fellas who emerge back into society with one arm like Popeye’s and the other like Olive’s.

But it was my calf that went at the beginning of the month. Blooming sore and I spent the most of May limping like Kevin Spacey in the Usual Suspects.

This week it’s felt a wee bit better so I took a leaf out of the Cummings’ playbook.

No, I didn’t jump in the car while suffering symptoms of Covid-19 and travel the length of the country.

That would be wrong.