SUPPORTING A CHILD DURING BEREAVEMENT

Whether your child has lost a family member, someone they know or a beloved pet, it can be a tricky balance to support children at this time. Here are some pointers to help navigate this sad eventuality.

As a six year old, my niece Gina experienced the loss of her grand aunt Chrissy and her pet goldfish in the same year. Chrissy was a much loved 88 year-old and, since they were babies, she had always delighted in spending time with all the kids in her extended family. Chrissy would be a regular at the Sunday lunch table and never missed Gina’s birthdays, Easters, Christmases or school occasions. Gina’s goldfish Bobby on the other hand had been with her for less than two months as her first and much longed-for pet. Interestingly, and in a way that is completely normal for a young child, Gina displayed much more overt grief and sadness at the loss of Bobby the fish than losing everyone’s favourite grand aunt.

Adults are understandably hit hard and overwhelmed with their own grief when losing someone close to them. Children can also be impacted by the same loss in a big way, but this will often manifest in a completely different way to adults. As a parent, here are some key points to remember about how children deal with a bereavement:

Children and teenagers grieve just as much as adults but may show it in different ways

Children have less ability to put into words how they are feeling

Children sometimes may not seem to be directly affected by a death, but you can often see their distress in their behaviour rather than in what they are able to say

This is a time for lots of hugs and also clear explanations of why their loved one died, in a way that is appropriate for your child’s age.

SUPPORTING GRIEVING CHILDREN