The f-words for photographers

Faith, fear and fatigue: how to manage the many feelings of running a photography business

- Paul Wikinson

Hey honey,’ I typed, ‘I thought I’d dump some thoughts on the photo business… I really want to get this thing rolling.’

I was on the 8:49pm train back from London. All the regular commuters had returned home hours ago. The ones still out in town for drinks and dinner would be staggering into seats on later trains. This carriage was full of IT consultants like me, the ones working crazy hours for demanding clients in return for six-figure salaries.

It was 2006 and I was totally disillusioned. I enjoyed the work I was doing, but it left me with very little time for my family.

By this point, friends of friends had seen some of the photos I created of my own children, and were paying me to capture their own family’s milestones. I was convinced that photography offered a way forward.

In that email I sent to my wife, Sarah, I listed why I loved creating portraits so much, and what I wanted from the business. It was full of lofty ideals and big ambitions. I believed the business would be successful and provide us with a sustainable income. At that point in time, I was fuelled by my faith that it would all work out in the end.

I signed off the email with a question and a little bit of reassurance: ‘What do you think? See you in half an hour. P.S. I’ve only been drinking coffee.’