Anne Calver: How trying to become a mum tested my faith

The popular speaker and author tells Pete Wooding how God spoke to her during a crisis

Speaking at conferences, writing books and carrying out interviews was all good and glamorous for Anne Calver. But her faith was being tested as she battled to have a baby.

She and husband Gavin, who is now the CEO of the Evangelical Alliance, had been married for several years and had setback after setback in their quest to become parents.

“We went through the first year and then the second year and I started to think this was never going to happen,” says Anne.

“We went for some tests and the doctors told us it was very unlikely that we could have any children.

That was a really difficult pill to swallow at the time.

“Yet weirdly the same month they said you are not going to have any children I actually got pregnant with our daughter, Amelie.

“Just before I gave birth to her, they discovered that I had antibodies in my system, and they said it doesn’t leave your system at any point, but we recommend that you don’t go on to have many more children.

“That was really difficult because I had hoped to have lots of children. Strangely, I fell pregnant again about ten months later. But we went on to lose the second and I had an operation to remove the baby. That was one of the most painful times for us… I felt quite fearful after that of trying again.”

After a few more years of grappling with this, Anne says God spoke to her very clearly about trying again.

“I really felt the Lord saying to me, ‘You’ve closed that door on parenting again, but I haven’t closed that door. I want you to open it again. I want you to look your fear in the face and I want you to open the door and try again.’

“So we began to try again and after literally one month we conceived. But when I went for an early scan at six weeks there were five antibodies that were in my system that were all attacking the new life inside of me.