Put Your Self-Compassion on First, Then Assist Others
Spirituality & Health|Jan/Feb 2021
I am a good, kind, and ethical person, but I feel that I sometimes lack compassion. Maybe that’s because in the family I grew up in we were not taught to think of others. I would like to know how I can become a more compassionate person.
KEVIN ANDERSON
Put Your Self-Compassion on First, Then Assist Others

Kevin: Your question made me think of a safety instruction anyone who flies has heard many times: “In case of a loss of pressure on the plane, put your oxygen mask on first, then assist others.” If you try to be a hero to the people around you without first ensuring your own oxygen flow, you will quickly pass out. Then you’ll be in real trouble and unavailable to help others.

What does this have to do with becoming more compassionate? Growing up I was taught that the highest ethical guide is love your neighbor as yourself. The emphasis was always on expanding our perception of who’s our neighbor. We were to be sources of love, and presumably compassion, for every other human being. As important as that is, though, no one taught me how to put my self-compassion mask on first. Self-compassion was never discussed because we were supposed to be other-centered, not self-centered.

In his book Compassion, the late Jesuit Henri Nouwen said he knew few people interested in becoming more compassionate. He said this was because becoming capable of suffering with others

requires that we have stood in the fire of our own suffering. There aren’t lots of people lining up to suffer so they can be better at helping others who suffer. We may think that being a “positive person” who does not dwell on current or past suffering is more important than letting our suffering transform into compassion.

この記事は Spirituality & Health の Jan/Feb 2021 版に掲載されています。

7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。

この記事は Spirituality & Health の Jan/Feb 2021 版に掲載されています。

7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。

SPIRITUALITY & HEALTHのその他の記事すべて表示
Let's Not Limit Nature- According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, nature is first defined as "the external world in its entirety," with etymological roots from multiple cultures and originating meanings
Spirituality & Health

Let's Not Limit Nature- According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, nature is first defined as "the external world in its entirety," with etymological roots from multiple cultures and originating meanings

The ancient Greeks had no word for art. Many indigenous people have no word for religion. Art and religion were inherent to human life until outsiders needed to critique and study these concepts-so they named them. The legacy of the word nature is similar. We speak about nature as if we are separate from itas if, like a starkly delineated shadow on a sidewalk, you can stand with one foot in nature and one foot outside of it.

time-read
3 分  |
July/August 2024
Recognizing and Tuning Into Medical Intuition- How one woman learned to trust her instincts and heal her body
Spirituality & Health

Recognizing and Tuning Into Medical Intuition- How one woman learned to trust her instincts and heal her body

How one woman learned to trust her instincts and heal her body. According to Wendie Colter, founder of The Practical Path (a trademarked intuitive development program for health professionals) and author of Essentials of Medical Intuition: A Visionary Path to Wellness, intuition permeates every aspect of our lives. Some call it a gut instinct. Others call it a hunch. Still others receive messages from their higher self. But whatever the name, that sense of knowing, feeling, or sensing can guide us toward healing.

time-read
7 分  |
July/August 2024
The Neuroscience of Getting What You Want - Manifesting is a process whereby you utilize the power within yourself to have an intention occur that ultimately is not pure self-interest,"
Spirituality & Health

The Neuroscience of Getting What You Want - Manifesting is a process whereby you utilize the power within yourself to have an intention occur that ultimately is not pure self-interest,"

Manifesting is a process whereby you utilize the power within yourself to have an intention occur that ultimately is not pure self-interest," .What it takes to hit all your goals is a fierce dedication to your quest over time and that means sinking your goals so deep into your subconscious that your conscious mind automatically tracks paths to take you to those goals like a bloodhound on the scent of synchronicities.

time-read
7 分  |
July/August 2024
TIME TO TAKE THE RISK
Spirituality & Health

TIME TO TAKE THE RISK

We shall awaken from our dullness and rise vigorously toward justice. If we fall in love with creation deeper and deeper, we will respond to its endangerment with passion.-Hildegard of Bingen, 12th-century Benedictine mystic, medical practitioner, writer, and composer

time-read
2 分  |
July/August 2024
The Essence of FRIENDSHIP
Spirituality & Health

The Essence of FRIENDSHIP

A DEEP DIVE INTO WHAT MAKES THE BEST FRIENDSHIPS

time-read
7 分  |
July/August 2024
QUEEN DIAMBI KABATUSUILA SHEDS A NEW LIGHT ON AFRICA
Spirituality & Health

QUEEN DIAMBI KABATUSUILA SHEDS A NEW LIGHT ON AFRICA

In 2016, before she became queen of the Bakwa Luntu people of the Dimbelenge territory of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Queen Diambi Kabatusuila was a 48-year-old therapist going through a difficult divorce, living in Boca Raton, Florida, and having a recurring dream about an old woman in an African village.

time-read
5 分  |
July/August 2024
Over the MOON About Helping Animals (and Their People)
Spirituality & Health

Over the MOON About Helping Animals (and Their People)

Since I was a child, I've had a ritual: Every night, I go outside and search the sky for the moon and stars. I marvel at the magnificence of a dark, crisp, clear, midnight blue sky and its symphony of constellations, occasional meteors, and the glorious moon herself-each illuminating the vastness. This simple practice always gives me the deepest peace and centeredness. It aligns my internal compass every night before bed.

time-read
6 分  |
July/August 2024
ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVES: AMANDLA STENBERG CHANNELS 'THE FORCE'
Spirituality & Health

ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVES: AMANDLA STENBERG CHANNELS 'THE FORCE'

Journalist KAREN BRAILSFORD was over the moon when actress and musician AMANDLA STENBERG agreed to meet her over Zoom for this heart-to-heart about spiritual matters for Spirituality & Health: A Unity Publication. Brailsford, a lifelong seeker who feels blessed to be Stenberg's mother, once captioned an Instagram photo of her daughter with Michael Bernard Beckwith of the Agape International Spiritual Center: \"When your master teachers run into one another at a Hollywood event.\" Brailsford says she has learned a great deal from each one.

time-read
10 分  |
July/August 2024
Unlikely Lightworkers from Liverpool
Spirituality & Health

Unlikely Lightworkers from Liverpool

The Beatles were more than musical masters-they were spiritual pioneers.

time-read
6 分  |
July/August 2024
ANTI-RACISM IS A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
Spirituality & Health

ANTI-RACISM IS A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

GROWING UP in very charismatic and evangelical Christian spaces, I was told that the Devil's greatest trick was convincing us that he didn't exist. I feel a similar vibe when it comes to the big three systems of oppression-capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy-in New Thought and other spiritual spaces. These systems managed to convince some of us that they don't exist, we are immune from them, talking about them isn't helpful, or we will overcome them just by doing our spiritual practices.

time-read
2 分  |
July/August 2024