What Never To Say

A small shift in the words we use will make all the difference…

- Ramaratnam

While communicating with others we have to choose our words carefully as it has consequences on our future action, on our relationships and how other people perceive and treat us. Certain words should never be used. Here are a few of them…

Nobody listens to me

This is one statement we should not even whisper, even to ourselves. It is another way of saying I feel powerless and helpless, so please take pity on me. Appealing to pity will work only for some time, initially. We all feel pity and also like to be pitied. When someone pities us we feel cared for, listened to, and empathized with. But we can't keep playing the pity card all the time. People get irritated after a while as it begins to feel like whining. Soon they will begin to ignore, and the whining will fall on deaf ears.

What is needed here is assertiveness training, which is the long-term solution, not pity. If you are not assertive, even your pet dog will not listen to you.

Of the three states of being i.e. passive, assertive and aggressive, the middle one, assertive, is considered ideal for practical living. This does not mean passive and aggressive have no place in life. They do. Life is contextual, and we have to choose the most appropriate state of being for every situation. Assertiveness is the golden key here.

Life is difficult. This task is difficult.

When we keep saying 'life is difficult', that is how life will begin to occur to us. The world will oblige and fit itself to our words. Words repeated frequently solidify beliefs and beliefs are the foundation of action.