Straight In At The Deep End

Most of us take skills such as being able to swim for granted, but Kate Saines was scared of the water as a child and avoided lessons. Now approaching 40, she discovers that learning one new thing can open up a plethora of possibilities

Sitting beside a pool in Spain, I watch my husband and children swimming, playing and generally having a rip-roaring time in the water. There are squeals of delight, hysterical laughter and lots of splashing. It’s a blissful moment to be treasured. Except, actually, it’s not – for me, at least. Because instead of feeling joy, I am riddled with bitterness and frustration. There’s a blip, you see, as at the age of nearly 40, I have never learned to swim, and so I am exempt from the fun.

Negative beginnings

How have I got this far in life without learning such a basic skill? It’s a good question and goes back to childhood. My parents didn’t swim and were vociferous in their dislike of pools. My first trip to the local baths was with school, and was full of negative preconceptions. My classmates, at ease and competent through independent lessons and pool holidays, were accustomed to the situation. But, for me, it was alien.

While my friends perfected their front crawl, I blew a yogurt pot across the water in the baby pool, unable to get my feet off the ground for fear of drowning. I began to dread lessons. Instead of risking failure, I wrote swimming off in my mind and began concocting elaborate excuses to avoid it.

As I now seek out help, I feel a sense of shame. Why have I never overcome this fear? But a chat to executive coach Caroline Arnold helps me see things more clearly. I explain that I have, in fact, always been the one to sit on the sidelines when my friends or family go swimming, skiing or do any kind of activity that presents an element of danger. ‘This is a big problem for many adults, and usually starts with something they heard as a child,’ she says.

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