A Letter From Mum

Three well-known Kiwi women write heartfelt open letters to their children, reflecting on what they’ve loved and learnt about being a mum.

Kate Rodger for her son Max, 4

“Max, sweet child of mine, this is a pretty big year for us. You turn five. I turn 50. One of those numbers FREAKS me out. So does the other one. Both serve to make me feel two things at the same time: very old, and very young. And in many ways that sentence perfectly encapsulates how I feel about being your mother.

First things first, know this: all babies are tiny little miracles. But when it’s your own (ie, YOU) it’s even more miraculous. I was a ridiculously ancient 45 years of age when I gave birth to you and to call you ‘unexpected’ is a woeful understatement. Nine months previously I had been secure in the knowledge that particular ship had sailed. But along came your beautiful father, and that ship didn’t just pull a full screaming 180 degree u-turn, it sailed right into my ovaries, detouring via the womb and then onwards into my heart, dropping anchor and taking up permanent mooring.

None of that will make much sense to you right now; you’re only four years old after all. And when you happen across a copy of this wonderful magazine in a decade or two and read this, it will simply make you squirm with awkward embarrassment (a feeling you’ll have to get used to, I’m afraid; I am potentially one of the most embarrassing mothers EVER). But I tell it to illustrate this one irrefutable fact: you were, quite simply, the most astonishing little human I have ever clapped eyes on and you have grown more and more astonishing each and every day since. You changed my life for ever with that first single heartbeat, in ways I could never have imagined.