Boys Will Be Boys Or Girls

In the 21st century, gender neutrality is now a new choice for parents opting to bring up their children as neither male nor female, writes Ingrid Pyne.

- Ingrid Pyne

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Bugsy Ross likes his long hair. He thinks it makes him look cool. And so, when the six-year-old started kindergarten last year, his parents weren’t surprised that he didn’t want to cut it. What did surprise them was the reaction of a few older schoolmates. “You’re a girl, you’re a girl,” they taunted.

“We weren’t prepared for that at all,” Bugsy’s mum Michelle GlewRoss, wife of comedian Tim “Rosso” Ross, tells The Australian Women’s Weekly. At preschool, Bugsy had worn jewellery, owned a doll named Brett, taken ballet classes and had plenty of girlfriends. He had also played in a soccer team, wrestled with boys and been obsessed with Lego bricks. “That’s just always been his personality,” says Michelle. “He’s open to all sorts of things.”

Like a growing number of parents, Michelle and Tim are determined not to straitjacket their children into traditional gender roles. They encourage Bugsy and his younger brother, Bobby, to play with both “boy” and “girl” toys, keep their bedroom decor neutral, and allow the boys to pick their own clothes and hairstyles. “For me it’s about laying the foundation so that they have an open mind,” explains Michelle.

Unlike more fanatical advocates of the gender-neutral movement, Michelle and Tim still call their sons “boys” and use male pronouns, but they don’t want Bugsy and Bobby’s childhoods – or lives – to be restricted by traditional concepts of gender.