Ways to help a friend in need

Watching a loved one struggle is tough. Here, experts reveal the best way to reach out and show your support.

- BROOKE LE POER TRENCH

Given that one in five New Zealanders will face mental health issues during their lives, it's safe to assume that most of us have or will know someone who needs our support at some point. And yet while being a good friend comes quite naturally, helping someone who is suffering from low mood, anxiety or depression isn't always intuitive. Nor is it easy. “We can sometimes feel discomfort around our family and friends' emotional experiences, especially if we think it is our job to fix what they're going through or if we're concerned about saying the wrong thing,” says clinical psychologist Dr Jodie Lowinger, author of The Mind Strength Method. One of the most powerful things you can do, she says, is allow that person to feel your kindness and connection. Here's how to do it...

Q: What are some signs your friend might need professional help?

A: "Look out for increased or high levels of alcohol or drug use, missing appointments or work and family commitments, or isolating themselves and not responding to efforts to reach out to them."

- David Godden, clinical director of The Bay Retreats

Consider yourself

The adage that you must help yourself before you can help others rings true in this situation, says psychologist David Godden, clinical director of The Bay Retreats. “It's normal to have a range of feelings yourself when around a loved one's depression, grief or mental health challenge,” he says. “You might be feeling helpless, angry, worried, frustrated or sad, and being aware of your own feelings is a good first step towards ensuring they don't get in the way of helping a person who is suffering."

Cross the line