Can We Talk

Knowing how to communicate well with your partner can make or break your relationship, so learn to do it right.

- Zukiswa Dlamini

Any expert or elder will tell you that one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship is communication. However, communication is something that is often taken for granted because many assume it is standard, but it isn’t. Without it, your relationship is deprived of the chance to grow and issues will pop up that you may not be able to solve. Here are some areas to consider improving on:

ALL ABOUT FEELINGS

Feelings are something that can be difficult to discuss, especially for people who don’t like to get emotional. “A lot of men are raised not to be in touch with their feelings, so getting them to open up about how they feel, especially when it is not positive, can be difficult,” says Linda Thabethe, a Nelspruit-based counsellor. “Some women also have the same issue. However, it is important to speak about how you feel as harbouring negative feelings is not healthy for any relationship.”

The best way to get your partner to open up about their feelings is to create a safe space without judgement. “This means actually listening to what your partner has to say and taking their feelings into consideration,” says Linda.

Another way is to allow your partner to express how they feel on their own terms. “Sometimes we want our partners to express their feelings in the same way we do, which is not right. Trying to get them to do it when you want to hear it doesn’t serve the relationship.”

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